Coping with a “Crazymaker” emphasises the importance of setting boundaries
Through heartfelt poems, I share my story of reclaiming my identity and finding inner strength after leaving a stifling relationship. I encourage others to thrive and seek support.
Years ago, as I wrote in my journal, my hand tensed as the pen scratched out the angry words “He drives me crazy,” and I burst into song, wailing along with The Fine Young Cannibals’ “She drives me crazy.” But how do you set boundaries around a Crazymaker? “What is a Crazymaker?” “Who is a CrazyMaker?”
“Ahhhh, He drove me crazy.” I was once married to a Crazymaker. Now, I am careful to not get involved with this type of person. But if you are married to one, working for one, or have a close family member or friend who is one, how do you pursue your personal goals with them in your life? I am not qualified to answer that question. I believe it takes a team around you of supportive people, including a professional who can help you set personal boundaries.
I went to talk to a psychologist with a plan of action in mind. I also built relationships with supportive people. It is not only women who have to live or work with a Crazymaker. I know men who are in the same predicament. All I can say is GET PROFESSIONAL HELP for yourself, so you can stop enabling the crazymaker and stop dancing to a Crazymaker’s tune, and the Crazymaker will accept help.
Even if you have a tough emotional journey ahead of you to fulfil your goal, just as I and many others have, I hope that one day you will be able to look back on your unique journey the same way we look back on any physical journey we take. Some are flat and easy; some have hills to climb; some are easy; and some are challenging. We know the ones who need an experienced guide to lead us all the way to the top of the mountain or advise us to abandon the journey. Remember, you are not alone. Take care of yourself. Beverley Joy
I wrote this poem when I was still married to a Crazymaker. This second poem I wrote after leaving after 10 years of marriage.
Don’t just survive life or just strive in life, THRIVE.
Beverley Joy
I rowed out to you as fast as I could
Through your troubled angry sea of life
I reached out my hand begging you “Please
Come close, let me lift you from your misery.”
You thrashed around yelling and screaming
Drowning in sorrow right in front of me
“Take my hand” I pleaded, choking back tears
Why won’t you listen to me?”
I leant out again as far as I could
With my outstretched loving hand
“Come on”, I shouted, so desperate
You were drowning in your panicked state.
I couldn’t stay with you any longer
Or I too would fall into your danger
And be engulfed and lost by its waves
My mission to rescue would have failed.
I realized that I alone couldn’t save you
So, I rowed back to shore as fast as I could
I screamed for the help of someone who knew how
To rescue my loved one before he drowned.
When a friend or family member is drowning
Overcome by their troubled sea of life
And you have tried your best to save them
Quick, get professional help before it is too late.
Beverley Joy © 2010 of Simply Story Poetry. All Rights Reserved
You can listen to all my poems on several podcast platforms here
Read my verse There’s No Shame in Asking ‘Lift My Up’
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Simply Story Poetry 
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