You Drive Me Crazy

INTRO: Years ago, as I wrote in my journal, my hand tensed as the pen scratched out the angry words “He drives me crazy” as I burst into song and wailed along with The Fine Young Cannibals’ song “She drives me crazy.” But how do you set boundaries around a Crazymaker? “What is a Crazymaker?” “Who is a CrazyMaker?”

“Ahhhh, He drove me crazy.” I was once married to a Crazymaker. I am now very careful to not get involved with this type of person. But if you are married to one, working for one, or have a close family member or friend that is one, how do you pursue your personal goals with them in your life? I am not qualified to answer that question. I believe it takes a team around you of supportive people including a professional who can work with you to set personal boundaries.


I went to talk to a psychologist with a plan of action in hand. I also built relationships with supportive people. It is not only women who have to live or work with a Crazymaker. I know men who are in the same predicament. All I can say is GET PROFESSIONAL HELP for yourself, so you can stop enabling the crazymaker and stop dancing to a Crazymaker’s tune and hopefully, the Crazymaker will accept help as well.

Even if you have a tough emotional journey ahead of you to fulfil your goal, just as I and many others, I hope that one day you will be able to look back over your unique journey in the same way we look back over any physical journey that we take. Some are flat and easy, some have hills to climb which some are easy, and some are challenging. We know the ones that need an experienced guide to lead us all the way to the top of the mountain or advise us to abandon the journey. Remember, you are not alone. Take care of yourself. Beverley Joy

I have included two poems. The first poem titled I Can’t Rescue You, I wrote while I was still married to a Crazymaker. This second poem I wrote soon after I left after 10 years of marriage.

Don’t just survive life or just strive in life, THRIVE.

Beverley Joy

AUDIO – You Drive Me Crazy

I Can’t Rescue You

I rowed out to you as fast as I could

Through your troubled angry sea of life

I reached out my hand begging you “Please

Come close, let me lift you from your misery.”

You thrashed around yelling and screaming

Drowning in sorrow right in front of me

“Take my hand” I pleaded, choking back tears

Why won’t you listen to me?”

I leant out again as far as I could

With my outstretched loving hand

“Come on”, I shouted, so desperate

You were drowning in your panicked state.

I couldn’t stay with you any longer

Or I too would fall into your danger

And be engulfed and lost to its waves

My mission to rescue would have failed.

I realized that I alone couldn’t save you

So, I rowed back to shore as fast as I could

I screamed for the help of someone who knew how

To rescue my loved one before he drowned.

When a friend or family member is drowning

Overcome by their troubled sea of life

And you have tried your best to save them

Quick, get professional help before it is too late.

Beverley Joy © 2010 of Simply Story Poetry. All Rights Reserved

The Stranger Within Her

Who is this?

Controlled, restrained, suppressed

In her relationships

Living a life that wasn’t her own

A stranger to herself.

“Don’t make waves

Don’t ask for help

Do as you’re told,

Don’t complain.”

“You have no ‘voice’, your opinions don’t matter

You’re uneducated, no one will listen.”

A square peg forced into a round hole

A vulnerable girl silenced from birth.

Her first relationship was more of the same

Add the ingredients of anger and rage

Trying to please him, walking on eggshells

No rights, it’s not fair, she must leave him.

Her next relationship was happy at first

They laughed and danced, he loved her voice

An obedient wife, she trusted him,

It was good as long as she said “Yes.”

One day she courageously said “No”

“Be true to myself, my values renew.”

Her ‘positive’ husband turned into a monster

Spewing up anger from the bowels of his soul.

Physically trapped, kept from her family

Silenced, in pain and suffocating

Say what’s acceptable, or pay the price

Don’t ruffle the feathers, try to stay safe.

When enough was enough, she walked out

Full of fear and dread into her new world

She was a stranger to herself

Her world had changed, but she  felt the same.

She prayed to God

For help, mercy and love

Her heart flooded

With acceptance and grace.

She cried, “What will become of me

I’m being made new, but I don’t know who

I am becoming; changing from within.”

“Who am I? Who is this?

That emerges from within

An alien, a stranger

Living in my skin.”

She’s now bubbly and bright

Supported by true friends

She has a voice that loves to sing

She’s educated and confident.

She reminisces her old self

Now a stranger far-removed

Shivers run through her

“I must never go back there.”

Time has passed and gradually

Her life is full of love and peace

She’s wiser, smarter and less naive

Confident and strong, she moves on.

Beverley Joy © 2014 of Simply Story Poetry All Rights Reserved.

You can listen to all my poems on several podcast platforms here

Read my verse There’s No Shame in Asking ‘Lift My Up’

Lauren Daigle ‘You Say.’ This song reflects the strangeness and discomfort of new beginnings.
My favourite Bob Dylan Gospel song, ‘I Believe in You’ here sung by Sinead O’Connor.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

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