I know my story resonates with many women who have journeyed through difficult abusive relationships.
Who is this?
Controlled, restrained, suppressed
In her relationships
Living a life that wasn’t her own
A stranger to herself.
“Don’t make waves
Don’t ask for help
Do as you’re told
“You have no ‘voice’, your opinion’s don’t matter
You’re uneducated, no one will listen.”
A square peg forced into a round hole
A vulnerable girl silenced from birth.
Her first relationship was more of the same
Add the ingredients of anger and rage
Trying to please him, walking on eggshells
No rights, it’s not fair, she must leave him.
Her next relationship was happy at first
They laughed and danced, he loved her voice
An obedient wife, she trusted him,
It was good as long as she said “Yes.”
One day she courageously said “No”
“Be true to myself, my values renew.”
Her ‘positive’ husband turned into a monster
Spewing up anger from the bowels of his soul.
Physically trapped, kept from her family
Silenced, in pain and suffocating
Say what’s acceptable, or pay the price
Don’t ruffle the feathers, try to stay safe.
When enough was enough, she walked out
Full of fear and dread, she entered her new world
She was a stranger to herself
Her world had changed, but she was still the same.
She went to church,
She heard of God’s love
He flooded her heart
With His saving grace.
She prayed to God, “Help me, please
You’ve made me new, but I don’t know
Who I am becoming; I’m changing from within.”
“Who am I? Who is this?
That emerges from within
An alien, a stranger
Living in my skin.”
She’s now bubbly and bright
Supported by true friends
She has a voice that praises sing
She’s educated and confident.
She reminisces her old self
Now a stranger far-removed
Shivers run through her
“I must never go back there.”
Time has passed and gradually
Her life is full of love and peace
She’s wiser, smarter and less naive
Her faith is strong as she moves on.
Beverley Joy © 2014 of Simply Story Poetry. All Rights Reserved.
You can listen to all my poems on several podcast platforms here