I wrote this poem in 2014. It reflects on those awkward times in life when, those of us with quiet personalities, find it difficult breaking into established groups within a community, trying to make new friends when your heart is broken and you don’t feel strong and bold. I wrote this poem just after my marriage broke down and I moved back to my home town, as a single woman. Beverley Joy
People talking, smiling, laughing
But no one truly connecting
Words are spoken for the sake of it
Eyes and hands do not meet.
When a better offer comes along
People say goodbye and walk away
I stand empty of true friendship
No one stops to care deeply.
Should I be different to who I am
More contained, reserved, quiet, demure?
Do I talk too much, maybe not enough?
Should I lighten up, be less complex?
I suffocate for politeness sake
Choke back a flood of tears
Endure the dagger piercing my heart
Stained with the blood of loneliness.
Oh, to have someone – family or friend
Go out of their way more than once
To sit and engage in conversation
Over a coffee for an hour, now and then.
To listen with ears that understand
To see with eyes wise and kind
To speak with lips that soothe and accept
To touch my heart with thoughtfulness.
I could pay a therapist, they’d listen!
Empathise and hear me out
But it’s not true friendship unless time is given
Free of charge and genuine.
Not one human being who walks this earth
Knows which food is my favourite?
Is it chicken, veggies, beef or broccoli?
To whom can I share my passions?
How different flavours excite my palate
How the layers of music dance through my mind
How colours react with my emotions
How fragrance blends into my breath.
Who cares about my experiences?
My bright song of life left unsaid
My favourite photos, never shown
My intense thoughts, never known?
I could develop a Facebook voice
And check on the hour, how many likes
I could blog my thoughts and use google words
To gain thousands of ‘followers’.
I could turn my blog into a book
And promote myself, through my ‘profile’
I could post my photos on Instagram
And wait for smilies, hearts and claps.
But, at the end of the day
Who is standing with me
Who gives me a hug
Who wipes my tears?
Who’ll ask me how I really am
Who’ll make me smile
Who’ll hang out a while?
No one will, ’cause no one has time.
Most of the time I skip through life
I hug, I care, I listen, I smile
But every now and then I wish someone was here
To hold me tight and wipe my tears.
With so many people striving to be
Kind and helpful, I keep wondering
Why is there no one to sit with me
On days when I feel empty?
So, I pick myself up, wipe my own tears
Get on with my day, after I pray
I strive to be the friend I need
In our imperfect world full of selfishness.
Oh, to the ‘Marys’ who show they care
With tears of love and empathy
With time to sit still, listen and be
A true friend in time of need.
Beverley Joy © 2014 of Simply Story Poetry
You may also enjoy my happier poem Friendship
You can listen to all my poems on several podcast platforms here
Bible references to ‘Marys’ – Luke Chapter 10 verse 39, Luke Chapter 7 verse 36 to 50, John Chapter 12 verses 1 to 8