I wrote this poem at a time when I felt stuck in life. Challenges from my troubled upbringing were proving difficult to get unstuck from the mud of my past. I was reaping the results of ignorant bad decisions that I had made over the years. It is easy to say ‘I forgive you.’ But it was gaining the knowledge of the ‘why’ and ‘how’ of forgiveness that was equipping me to finally move out of, and on from the quagmire of my past life experiences. Beverley Joy
Have you ever cried “I’ll never forgive my
Mother, father, brother, sister, spouse or relative
For what they have done or said about me,
I can’t even forgive myself for my own stupidity.”
When we withhold forgiveness, we’re the ones who suffer
The ‘guilty’ person may not know that we’re upset and mutter
They just go about their day while we cry in pain and anger.
Our lives are evidence of our choices
We make mistakes along life’s way
Sometimes we act on misinformation
We end up doing stupid things.
Our parents raised us the way they knew best
Somewhat based on how their parents did
Sometimes misinformed they equipped us
For the complex land of ‘adulthood’.
To blame our family, spouse or children
For mistakes they have made is fruitless
It is foolish to own the misery of hate
And screw up our life just to demonstrate.
To prove to the world your life message
‘It’s your fault I’m poor, lonely, unhappy…
So now you can grow old watching me suffer.”
Blaming others gets us nowhere
When a deed is done, well, it’s in the past
Griping about it changes nothing
Whining and moaning is simply childish.
When we choose to forgive
That starts a ripple effect
For when we change, others change too
As they respond to our new behaviour.
Forgiveness does not mean relationships mend
You may have nothing more to do with them
The relationship may need to change
Spend less time together, or move away.
Forgiveness is getting up and walking away
From sitting in the mud puddle on memory lane
Sitting in the pain, the conversations and actions
Of past events and attached emotions.
There’s no shame in asking for help
To lift you up and walk alongside
While you learn to live, from today,
Free from the shackles of yesterday.
So, be selfish and choose to forgive
As forgiveness is in your best interest.
Beverley Joy © 2012 of Simply Story Poetry
You can listen to all my poems on several podcast platforms here